Posted in advertising, Beauty, blogging, business, College Major, Colleges, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, entrepreneur, Forgiveness, Happiness, Healthy, industry, leadership, leads, Life, Love, marketing, Motivation, psychology, small business, success

Helping Others: The Service of Life

Wherever you go make it your life’s mission to be in the service of those who need you. This doesn’t always refer to those who are poor or homeless.

Serving others is also a key component in business, life, the success of an entrepreneur and the success of college students. This is the purpose of fundraisers and charities.

Be kind and offer free insight, tell people what you’ve experienced so they don’t have to make the same mistakes as you.

Life isn’t about being selfish. The moment you become SELFLESS great things happen.

If you’re always worried about money, your possessions and keeping knowledge to yourself, you will end up with NOTHING.

Why?

Because you made no attempt to build relationships or help those who could have used your services.

You made no attempt to help someone when they needed it and the world can see that. Especially in today’s time.

Do you think people want to support the cause of a selfish person?

Do people want to do business with a company that never gives, never fundraisers, doesn’t care for the community and will never give free advice?

The answer is NO. People don’t want to associate with selfish rude people.

Give more than you receive and your business, life, and personal life will triple with success.

Better relationships, more business connections and networks, and of course you will feel pretty good about yourself after helping someone.

Genuinely caring about people you come in contact with is the beginning to understanding that life is about service.

Life is NOT about how people can serve you.

How you can serve others?

In the end you’ll get the thanks and gratitude for being a kind person.

Patience, gratitude and insight are the elements you need to be of service.

Once you master your craft or niche offer it to someone (who is less fortunate) for free. Or, at least do a free consultation to show how knowledgeable you are. This will build your brand, business and reputation.

Once you become larger help the homeless, offer resume writing services to them.

Sincerely think of ways to help people no matter what industry you’re in or what you like to do.

Try it out. Tell me how it goes. Or if you’ve done this before and understand that life is about service share your thoughts. ❤️

Posted in Confidence, Courage, Creativity, family, Forgiveness, Happiness, Healthy, inspire, Life, Mental Wellness, Motivation, psychology, Relationships, Uncategorized

5 Steps: How to Be Happy

IMG_how_to_be_happy_jpg

Such a simple yet, complex topic. Happiness. What is happiness? Have you ever found yourself wondering how to be happy? Most people at some point in life ask this question.

Too much work and not enough leisure or “me” time can leave you wondering what your life is about. Without finding the true passion in your life you will be left wondering what went wrong.

Exploring what happiness is, what it takes to be happy and how to be happy starts with truly understanding yourself.

What is your passion? What makes you tick? Who and what do you love? What’s important to you. These questions are just the beginning of finding real happiness.

How to Be Happy 101:

The following 5 points will outline how you can achieve self-driven happiness. It’s important to remember that happiness must come from within yourself first. After you figure that part out you can look to other sources of happiness from friends, family, travel, and leisure.

1. Self Confidence

Self-confidence is the first ingredient you need. If you don’t have an adequate level of self-worth and confidence it will be difficult to be happy.

Self-doubt and low self-esteem have a huge impact on your overall wellness and ability to perceive any real joy. Look yourself in the mirror and recite positive self-affirmations. Say to yourself; “I’m beautiful, I’m unique, I’m necessary, I’m brilliant, I’m capable.”

Even if you don’t believe it now you will after 30 days of self-affirmations in the mirror. Sit down and write everything you like about yourself. Your strengths, goals and positive points.

Reflect on these and take them in. Ask family and friends, even co-workers. Perhaps you have awards from work or certain achievements to look at.

how to be happy

2. Forget the Haters

Seriously, please do this. We live in a world where everything is broadcasted on social media, so it’s easy to see what people think of you. Don’t pay attention to negative words, thoughts or comments made about you.

Mostly because they’re just opinions from people who don’t even know the real you or see your true potential. You know who you are, what you do and how valuable you are to this world.

Never let anyone define your worth.

3. Stay Off Social Media

Everyone loves Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat. But, sometimes it’s necessary to unplug from these apps/sites.

Give yourself a break from seeing the allusion of happiness on social media. The truth is everyone wants their life to look flawless and perfect on social media. No one will post about their failures or bad days so don’t beat yourself up over seeing an allusion which probably isn’t even real.

You will be much happier once you find balance and ground yourself in the real world. Reality isn’t on social media. Only fantasy and allusion.

IMG_4998

4. Get Rid of Negative People

This may sound harsh, but get rid of negative family and friends. These people can be the absolute death of your self-esteem. Learning how to be happy starts with saying no to negative/toxic people.

This can be your boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, cousin, even your own parents. If someone is constantly belittling you, being rude and making you feel worthless then cut them off. Do it quickly and without justification.

You don’t need to justify your need for a peaceful life and sanity. There’s absolutely no way you can find happiness if someone is always being negative in your surroundings. You won’t even realize how big the burden is until you have a few weeks without the toxic relationship bringing you down.

5. Be Merciful and Seek Peace

Harboring grudges and negative thoughts will totally kill your happiness. The truth is we are all human and we all make mistakes. Let the hardships go and forgive. Forgiveness will help you move forward and live your best life.

Find peace with everyone you run into. Even if they don’t like you. Be the bigger person. The enlightened, peace-seeking person who has better things to do than argue or be bothered by someone else.

Remember you are in complete control of your actions. Knowing you’re in control can provide a certain peace and happiness in itself. No one has the power to make you react in a negative way.

Once you provide mercy and peace to every situation you will feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Beauty, business, College Major, Colleges, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, Decisions, entrepreneur, Healthy, inspire, leadership, Life, marriage, Motivation, psychology, success

Motivation After “Failure”

Let me start by saying this. You ONLY fail when you give up.

“Failure” isn’t a permanent state of being. A loss is only temporary and is only truly a loss when you don’t learn from it.

Take this time to find what works for you. Whether it’s school, your business or other life goals.

This is the perfect time to re-examine everything about your preparation rituals.

Maybe you need to study differently. Maybe you need to go back to the drawing board and come up with a better marketing plan.

Perhaps you need a new route or means of reaching your goals. Don’t give up now!

Figure out:

1. Why you started

2. Your end goal

3. A reward when goals are met

4. That thing that will motivate you at your lowest

These 4 factors will determine your success. You have to know WHY you want to accomplish your goals. A better life for yourself? Freedom? A title?

What’s your end goal? Do you want to be an author to a series of books of films? Are you aiming for a bachelors degree in a specific study? Are you an artist working to get your work into museums and art fairs?

It’s perfectly okay to reward yourself. In fact you need to every time your goals are met. Even tiny goals.

This gives you something to look forward to.

When you do experience a loss or a “failure” in your plans, school, work or business LEARN from it. This should be your motivation to find out what went wrong.

Now you can fix the mistake you made or make a new and improved plan. This is the time to make your business even better.

Make your study habits better.

Make your art better.

What ever it is you’re working at, it can be improved at this point.

No matter what don’t take failure as a permanent state. It’s only temporary and you may not even remember it in a few months or years.

Sure it may be a little discouraging but find it within you to keep going. These are your LIFE goals. They deserve your full undivided attention!

Posted in Beauty, Courage, Decisions, family, Forgiveness, Healthy, Life, loss, Love, marriage, Motivation, Parenting, psychology, Relationships

Married at 22?!

This may sound crazy since we live in a generation where young marriage is looked down upon.

A few decades ago this wouldn’t have been so surprising. My grandpa proposed to my grandma when she was 18.

They were married for 53 years before he died.

Living during these times and being married is sort of rewarding. It’s great to know that we are doing something that has been lost in recent generations.

Do people even look forward to marriage anymore?

I’ll be honest. I was the little girl who dreamed of getting married. The one who couldn’t wait to be a mother and wife.

This generation has lost that sense of romanticism. Like in the movies.. the kind of love you read about.

Our world is very selfish. Me, me, me with no regard for anyone else.

When you’re married you can’t be like that. Instead you look at how you can be of service to the person you’ve committed your life to.

Why??

Because you want to. Because they’re your best friend. Because life without them would be drastically different.

For the sake of love?

At first, but it won’t always be like this. You won’t always “feel” in love. In fact you’ll probably get irritated, angry and impatient.

They’re going to fail you and you’re going to fail them. It’s okay you’re both human.

What matters is the promise. The covenant made between two people who love and value each other more than anything else.

It’s great knowing there’s someone in your corner all the time. Someone to talk to. To go through life with.

Someone that will be there when things get crazy. When life comes knocking at your door in the middle of the night and all you can do is depend on them.

Because we all have someone in our lives like that. Even if it’s just a friend.

How amazing it is for that person to be the one you commit your life to. For better and for worse, rich or poor.

It’s sad knowing this generation has lost this. Lost the ability to love and forgive freely. To trust and be trusted.

Most of all it’s sad knowing our generation can’t get past themselves to see something bigger.

Because at the end of the day, when you’re old and tired and sick….

Degrees won’t matter

Accomplishments won’t matter

Careers you’ve had won’t matter

What matters is the relationships you’ve made with those around you.

You don’t want to look back on life to find you spent so much time on YOU that you’re left with no one there.

I’ve seen it before. I used to work in a nursing home. People who have dedicated everything for their careers sacrificing things they thought they didn’t want.

Only to find that they be left alone with regret and loneliness.

I hope this makes you think. I hope it makes you think about your relationship with friends and others who are close.

To me being married at 22 is one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Even if you don’t want to get married at least value those around you. The quality of our life is made by the relationships we held on to and the people we treasured.

Consider this. Ponder on it and let me know what you think.

Until next time..

T.

Posted in business, College Major, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, Decisions, entrepreneur, Life, Mental Wellness, Motivation, psychology

Celebrating Tiny Victories

So you have goals right? Maybe they’re huge and out of this world. Sometimes you might wonder if you can accomplish them. Well I believe you can!

Along the way it’s important to celebrate tiny victories.

Make a word document of your goals. Long term and short term. Figure out what tiny victories you might have in between.

If you’re a blogger this could mean a certain amount of followers or views in the next week or two.

If you’re a business owner this might mean making your first sale or first 10, 20, and 30 sales.

If you’re a college student this means getting your first assignment back and finding out you got a good grade. Good can be defined by any means you want.

The point is you need to celebrate the steps you make to make your dreams come true.

These little achievements are still achievements and celebrating them will give you the needed motivation to keep going!

Think of it as a ladder. I guess all our ladders are different sizes but the steps are filled with little achievements. One after another. Eventually you reach the top.

Each tiny victory takes you 1 step closer to your end goal.

Maybe you’ll stop here. Or maybe you’ll find a new ladder to climb and new accomplishments to do.

This is how you believe in yourself. As a brand, worker, CEO, Blogger, author, entrepreneur, sales person or whatever else you plan on accomplishing.

Always look back at your goal list and write down these tiny accomplishments. You might want to look back on these years or months down the line to see just how much you’ve grown.

Let’s face it. Tiny victories are the keys to BIG success!

Posted in Abuse, Beauty, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, family, Genetics, Hair, Healthy, Life, Love, Mental Wellness, Motivation, Parenting, psychology, Relationships, Sexuality

5 Stereotypes of Black Women We Need to End

1. All Black Women Wear Weaves and Get Perms

This stereotype is probably the one that annoys me the most. First of all, not all black women like weave or perms. Take me for example, I HATE them.

I’ve never had a perm or straightening agent in my hair and the last time I had weave was about 4 years ago.

I hated the weave so much that I took it out after 2 weeks.

I just don’t like the feeling of hair that isn’t mine on my head. I’m so used to my curls that I really didn’t know what to do with other grades of hair.

Last year I promised myself I would not put heat in my hair for at least 3 years. To be honest I don’t get the urge to straighten it at all anymore.

I have let my curl pattern perfect itself, and really love the all natural feeling and look!

It’s time for people to understand that not all black women are alike. I’m not afraid to get my hair wet, in fact I do it pretty much everyday.

Water is the number one moisturizer!

As a child people would tell me I should get a perm and I just looked at them confused, why?????

2. Black Women Are Angry

This is another very annoying stereotype. Anytime a black woman speaks an ounce of truth she’s labeled as angry.

Maybe he’s trying to spread awareness to her people and others all over the world.

Considering the plight of black women in America it is normal to be angry about everything that has happened.

But we’re not always mad. In fact I’m rarely mad. I just want to help educate and spread awareness.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m probably the goofiest person you’ll ever meet, and I laugh at anything (really).

Laughter is good for the soul right?

3. Black Women Are Too Independent

Even though TV always portrays black women as being super independent and not wanting a man it’s simply inaccurate and dangerous to our mental state.

Sorry to tell you but you cannot do it all! You will break (mentally). Maybe you already have.

It’s not normal or necessary to take on the weight of the world. Let someone help you.

Don’t feel bad for self care either. If you don’t take care of yourself FIRST how can you expect to help anyone else.

Black women still value marriage despite what the media may show of us.

We also value helpful fathers, friends and family.

Sisterhood is something that has not dissipated in our community. We love our friends, and hopefully want what’s best for them.

The majority of us don’t always want to hate on the next. Shows like LHH and other reality TV portrays us fighting each other too much.

It’s not only detrimental but it’s also not reality for the grown black woman. Maybe for teenagers but black women are too focused on careers and family to even have time for such drama!

4. The Jezebel Spirit

From what the media portrays of black women we are always seen as sex objects, being overly sexualized, and seductive. Although many women are like this some are not!

We know how to dress modest and keep our curves in the bedroom. This stereotype is very detrimental to the mentality of little black girls growing up.

What does it do to the mind to see yourself being portrayed in music videos? Dancing in a seductive and sultry way.

What impact does the music we listen to have on our minds?

5. Black Women Lack Emotion

Due to our history in the U.S. blacks as a whole have had to suppress their emotions.

Somehow we began equating this as a strength instead of a weakness.

First and foremost the inability to share emotions is NOT a strength. This causes much more harm on our psychology than we like to admit

When you don’t express your feelings you bottle everything up. This will explode one day. Or maybe it already has.

It’s not healthy mentally or physically and you deserve to be able to say what’s on your mind.

Instead of succumbing to these horrible stereotypes, let’s move forward and educate others.

Speak up and tell people who YOU really are as an individual.

If we want to be portrayed differently we have to stop feeding into the media and music industry. Promote music with a message other than sex and money.

Teach your daughters the same, so the next generation won’t have to deal with this.

Together we can break down the ideals made about us. But WE are the only ones who can do it!

Posted in Abuse, Beauty, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, family, Forgiveness, Healthy, introvert, Life, Mental Wellness, Motivation, psychology, Relationships

The Truth About Insecurity

When you hear the word “insecure,” or think about people who are insecure you may automatically think of superficial factors such as beauty, body type and popularity.

Well it’s not that simple. Insecurity is more than thinking you don’t look good. Many times your looks have nothing to do with it at all. Sometimes being insecure is a reflection of the world around you, and not necessarily how you feel about yourself.

Have you ever been let down?

Betrayed?

Lied to?

Bullied?

A victim of abuse in all forms?

Insecurity isn’t a reflection of you as a person, but a reflection of how your environment effects you.

Here are a few reasons people become insecure:

1) Horrible Relationships

And this is not limited to being in a relationship with a significant other. If you aren’t surrounded by quality people who love and look out for you then you may be prone to insecurities.

If you come home from work or school only to be yelled out and belittled you probably will begin to not feel so good about yourself.

But I promise it isn’t your fault, some people just draw the life out of you because of their own unhappiness.

2) Loneliness

Some people feel insecure simply out of loneliness. They could be the most stunningly beautiful people in the world, but if your soul is lonely none of that matters.

Healthy friendships matter and are so important for our sanity and growth. Without this, you’re bound to fall into feeling insecure about yourself as a person.

3) Belief In Your Own Abilities

Maybe you got a bad grade, screwed up that project at work or completely forgot about something you were supposed to be working on. If you’re not careful the demands of life can lead you into insecurity.

Try not to stress too much, we’re all human, we all make mistakes. Just get up and try again and know that your short comings DON’T define you as a person.

What Can You Do To Counter This?

On your good days remind yourself how competent and great you are and on your bad days do the same.

DON’T settle for mean words from ANYONE. This includes friends and family. Real friends and family want to see you happy and prospering, not being defeated.

Figure out unique things about yourself. Find differences in you, that make you, YOU! Fall in love with these differences and build your confidence.

Know the warning signs of toxic people. You may have never had any issues with feeling insecure until a certain person came in your life.

Don’t ignore this! Question why and how they’re able to make you feel this way. You probably need to cut them out of your life for good. Sometimes you really don’t see how bad it is until you get yourself out.

Hopefully this helps you to understand that insecurities are NOT skin deep. They have a deeper hidden layer, and it’s not always about looking in the mirror and not feeling beautiful or good looking.

That’s a very superficial view to have. Sometimes the problem is deeper and with a little thought, you can figure out the cause and work on a way to lift you self back up.

Posted in Beauty, Courage, Creativity, Forgiveness, Healthy, introvert, Life, Mental Wellness, Motivation, psychology

The Incredible Power of Hope

What is hope? Hope is both a noun and a verb. In it’s noun form it means “a feeling of expectation or desire for something to happen.” In it’s verb form it means, “wanting or trusting that something will happen.

The amazing thing about HOPE is that it opens doors, says sky is the limit and ensures that we don’t give up on our dreams and aspirations.

When something goes wrong hope is that thing that tell us “relax, everything will be just fine.” And eventually it is right. Even the worst situations work themselves out.

What would our lives be without hope?

When your back is on the wall and it seems as if the world is crashing down a around you find hope in a steady person or situation.

Maybe hope for you, is knowing that you always have a way of sorting everything out.

Or maybe your hope is your friend/significant other who is ALWAYS there for you when you need to be reminded that HOPE exists.

If you’re spiritual you hope in a higher power to balance out everything.

When the word HOPE comes to your mind what do you think of? Or who do you think of? Keep these people or things close to you. They’re your pillar of hope.

Hope has this sort of supernatural power of letting you find peace before peace is even found. Letting you see an outcome before one has even been formed.

Take your hope. All of it, no matter what form it comes in. Use it. Embrace it. Cultivate it. Because hope is what will make your life worth living!

Hope will get you through no matter what. Because bad times don’t last forever, right?

T.

Posted in family, Healthy, Motivation, Parenting, psychology, Relationships

Letter To My Children

To My Children,

I look at you and I see joy, innocence, happiness and pure undying love. Your little faces can instantly lighten up the dimmest of days. You are filled with life, never lose that.

You mean the world to me and you won’t quite understand my love for you until you have kids of your own. I pray for your health, your education, your kindness, your morality, your future.

The most amazing and miraculous thing I’ve ever done was create you.

You’ve changed me, helped me grow, helped me learn. I see life differently with you here. I feel unstoppable because of you.

Your kind words and gentle voices echo in my head before I fall asleep and right when I wake up. You ground me and put everything into perspective.

I see the world clearly when I’m looking at you hoping that you will be prepared for the dangers that this world brings.

Understand that I try to teach you everything I know. Everything that will protect and grow you into the person God made you to be.

Do you know that I watch you. When your eating, sleeping, talking, playing, running, arguing and laughing. I study you so that I can try to begin to comprehend how I made something as wonderful as you.

You have this infectious laugh and this beautiful smile. Don’t ever lose that my

love, the world is going to need that from you.

I know sometimes you will disappoint me, sometimes I’ll lose patience and sometimes I won’t know what to do with you.

Know that above all I love you and you never have to face any problem alone I am always right here. Never be afraid darling, look adversity in the eye and say, “I’m ready!”

You can do anything! Really you can. Know that I believe in you.

No matter how far you go or how big you grow you will always be my child, my beloved. I pray that I can be everything you need me to be and more.

You’re going to do amazing things, believe that.

And please don’t forget to always be kind, even when the world isn’t kind to you. Don’t let your heart fill with hate it will wear you down. Look above and focus on what is to come for you. There is nothing anyone can do to you, you have a protector in the heavens watching over you.

Thank you for being you. You remain the most amazing part of my life and for your undying love I am grateful.

Posted in Beauty, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, Forgiveness, Life, Love, Mental Wellness, Motivation, Parenting, psychology, Relationships, Uncategorized

Be The Light

The world is filled with too much darkness, too much hate and confusion and not enough love.

pexels-photo-132340.jpeg

Be the light in the midst of all the dark, your smile may change someone’s day.

Be kind always. Even when people aren’t kind to you. Maybe they’ve had a bad day or are going through tough times.

They could be fighting a war you know nothing about. Show them the mercy that you would want shown to you.

When light shines darkness cannot prevail. It immediately withdraws from where it came.

Don’t be fooled. Being the light doesn’t mean that you’re tolerant or afraid to stand up for what’s right.

Imagine your room dark, you can’t see a thing but the moment you flick the switch your light comes on, BOLD, without hesitation.

With truth and light you have nothing to fear.

Carry it with you always, truth that is. You never know who could use it. You never know who’s lost or confused awaiting the day for someone to bring light, truth and love in their life.

– T.