Negative Criticism and Commentary
Whether you’re frustrated, attempting to discipline your child or just not having a good day, this is NEVER okay! EVER!!!!! This type of communication with your child is verbal abuse and can have negative effects on them at each age level. Say harsh or cruel words to a small child or toddler and they’ll grow up to be insecure and learn that they have to step on egg shells so that they don’t make you mad. Getting in verbal altercations with older kids and teens (I know they’re mouthy) is just as bad. Why? Because you have taught them that you do not respect them as a person.
Just think about it, if someone, even your loved one hurts your feelings, curses at you and belittles you on a consistent basis how would you feel? Consciously and subconsciously there is damage done. Yelling too much can have the same effect. Obviously our kids don’t always listen so we may have to raise our voice but we should NEVER have an all our screaming match with our child, no matter what age. You’re teaching them that, that is the correct way to communicate and I promise they will yell right back, and it escalates from there.
Take a step back, breathe. You may not realize it but you’re hurting them and stunting their psychological growth and independence. You are also damaging your relationship. As they turn into adults if the only memories they have of Mom and Dad talking to them, are screaming matches then I’m sure that your relationship will be distant if not non existent.
I’m not saying don’t discipline your children. I am saying ALWAYS give your child love and respect. (Even when disciplining). If they feel like they cannot count on you when they need to talk they will find other company and you better hope that it’s GOOD company.
Seriously guys, those criticisms will haunt them for the rest of their lives, (even if you want to down play it and pretend it’s not that serious). Ask a few adults who have had emotionally or verbally abusive parents how they feel on a day to day basis about their relationships with their parents.
There are our children! We LOVE them, nurture, pray and care for them until the day we die. We shape them into who they will become when they’re adults. If you feel yourself starting to want to express rude feelings and attitudes just leave the room and take a break. Really sit and think about how those words could effect your child now and in the future.
It really doesn’t matter if they are having trouble loading the dish washer, doing homework a little bit too slow or playing around the house too loud. Calmly and sternly tell them to stop or there will be consequences. If they’re struggling with homework ask if they need help, if they are slacking on the dishes cut the TV and games off for the rest of the night. But I beg you, please, please, please do not call your child stupid or dumb. Don’t tell them that they never do anything right. Absolutely don’t tell them about how you think they ruined your life (You are the one who made the decision right?)
Discipline is CRUCIAL, but negativity and harsh words are damning. There is absolutely a way to discipline without cursing numerous times, yelling at the top of your lungs and belittling your children.
We are the most important people in their lives. If we break them down, disrespect them and belittle them before they’re even on their own who can they trust? Who will they turn to? What will they look for in a relationship? Will they really be an emotionally and mentally stable adult?
So before you go yelling and blurting out negativity again, please consider these words and remember that you’re the parent. You’re there to LOVE, discipline and nurture them until your last breath.