Forgiveness, an art? Why yes it is. There is a certain technique, mindset and willingness you HAVE to have in order to forgive. What is the use in forgiving? He or she did something so bad to me, why should I give them a chance? Whether it was a close family member, a friend, a coworker or a complete stranger from off the street we should try to forgive them for what they have done.
Firstly remember this, we do not forgive for the other person just because they say “sorry” because the other person may not have apologized in the first place! “Why would I forgive someone who isn’t sorry?” Because forgiveness is the ONLY way to fully liberate yourself from the baggage that you carry around on a day to day basis.
Maybe it was that crazy ex who cheated on you repeatedly, disrespected you and emotionally abused you. Maybe it was a parent who did not quite understand how to REALLY be a parent. Maybe it was that kid who would ALWAYS bully you and you still remember that to this day. Or that co-worker who tirelessly spread lies or gossip and just flat out didn’t like you! What ever the case may be you NEED to forgive that person.
No they don’t deserve it, I never said they did, but you do! You deserve to live your life as free and liberated from your past and people who have done you wrong as possible. Accept that they may NEVER say sorry. Some people are like that, but you don’t deserve to carry their burdens around your whole life because you’re too stubborn or aren’t ready to forgive. It will make you bitter, in friendships, relationships, everyday encounters with people, etc… You’ll find it hard to trust again surely, I mean they did betray you. You have that person(s) in mind right?
I know it is HARD. I had to forgive people who never even apologized (yikes). BUT the liberation you will feel is amazing! Take my word for it! Move on with your life and let that person or situation go. Forgive them, yeah they can be horrible, but forgive them, yeah they might not deserve it, but forgive them, and yes it hurts, but FORGIVE THEM.
Do you guys remember that bible verse where Peter asked Christ how often he should forgive his brother for what he did, even if he did it repeatedly? He said, SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN. Now he did not mean literally 490 times but he wanted to teach us they we NEED to forgive every chance we get! Because when it is all said and done who really benefits from the forgiveness you give? YOU!
And forgiveness does not always mean you let that person in your life, you become friends and live happily ever after, NO. It’s your choice, if you want the person in your inner circle, but by no means does forgiveness automatically constitute a relationship with you. Forgiveness is saying, “Hey, I know you suck, you hurt me, you betrayed me and disliked me for no reason at all, but I don’t care anymore. I’m not mad at you, I am ready to move on because I forgive you. I won’t hold grudges anymore. I’m bigger than this situation and you.” Although if you do want the person in your life, there is no problem with that either way as long as you’re HAPPY and HEALTHY. Just make sure they know what they did wrong, and are ready to accept responsibility for their actions. Everyone messes up sometimes right?
ALL DONE. You let it go, good for you! Now move on from that person or situation (if you wish) and don’t look back. It will be just a distant reminder of how STRONG you are and how crappy people can sometimes be!